


Old Habits Die Hard

by jessonthecoast



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8284468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessonthecoast/pseuds/jessonthecoast
Summary: Steve and Bucky are so set in their ways at times that it's hard to get them to change.I do not own any of these characters.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on my tumblr a little while ago and I just wanted it to be posted here. Un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

They’ve got an apartment together now but they sleep separate. It’s better that way, or so Bucky says. Steve wonders if it’s because of his arm, if it’s because he’s afraid that it’ll go for his throat one night and choke him to death. Steve doesn’t think so, knows that Bucky is stronger than that but yet they have their own rooms and their own head space.

Steve gets up early, so early the sun isn’t even up yet. Old habits die hard, as they say. Steve slips out of bed, gets dressed to work out and before he leaves, checks in on Bucky. He’s still sleeping, or pretending to anyway. He’s at least not tossing and turning like he typically does. He pulls the door closed and he’s gone. He goes for a run, thinks about missions and Bucky and past teams and Bucky. Each thought steering back to him and soon his feet are taking him back home. One step at a time and he’s at the apartment. Cold shower. Towel dry. Get dressed. Easy routine. Simple steps. 

By now Bucky should be awake. Knuckles knock on wood, or an impersonation of it, and there’s a quiet “Come in” from the other side. Still here. He’s still here. Some days it still feels like a dream, having Bucky here. Steve can’t tell if it’s a dream or a nightmare for Bucky. He’s Bucky but he’s not. The explanation isn’t as simple as “It’s because of his arm.” It’s more than that. It’s his soul, his memories, his character. Sometimes there’s bits of him missing and Steve wants to try to find them but where to start is the question. 

Bucky is up already. Bed made military style with the sheets pulled tight and barely a wrinkle in sight. Steve smiles because old habits die hard. Reboots or not, he’s still a soldier at heart.  

“Morning,” Bucky says as he pushes his arms through a long sleeve t-shirt, careful not to snag the fabric, and then pulls it down over his torso. 

“Sleep okay?” Steve asks. 

“‘Course. Slept like a baby,” he responds as he sits down at the end of his bed, shoes in hand, and busies himself with the laces. 

“I’ve known you for a few years, Buck,” Steve says, taking a seat in front of Bucky. “You can tell me the truth.”

“It’s just a nightmare. Nothing I can’t handle,” he replies with a little wink in Steve’s direction as he finishes up knotting the strings on his shoes. 

“You know, no one says you have to handle it alone.”

“I know, Steve,” and he’s standing up and out the door. 

Steve hopes that in time, Bucky will open up. It doesn’t have to be an hour long conversation, he doesn’t need every detail. Maybe a little bit here and there, just enough to piece the missing years together or to understand what’s going on in his head.

Sometimes it seems like Bucky is lost inside of his own head, a maze he can’t escape no matter how much he runs or attacks the walls. Sometimes it seems like he’s drowning in his own memories, too many flooding his mind and confusing him.

Steve tries to be the map to show him which way to go and wants to be the lifesaver that pulls him back but it’s not easy and he’s going to have to fight to bring back those missing pieces. Steve won’t give up though. Hes too stubborn to back down from a fight.

Old habits die hard. 


End file.
